2011 has been a pretty tough year. We’ve faced brutal crackdowns from authoritarian rulers, extreme inequality exacerbated by the economic downturn, and another season of Keeping up with the Kardashians. But things could be different. Close your eyes and picture a world without worn-out reality TV. Ok, open them.
I said OPEN THEM! Oh man, I see what’s going on here.If you happen to be sitting on the bus looking over my reader’s shoulder because your iPhone died, can you can you tell him to open his eyes? Oh wait, your eyes are also closed now. Shoot.
I guess it’s not good writing technique to tell your readers to close their eyes. It’s just that the imagination works so much better when our overwhelming visual stimulation shuts down for a moment. It’s like when I’m at yoga and the instructor tells us to close our eyes and picture all the lamas grazing in the lamasery. When I have my eyes open I can’t really identify with those Himalayan lamas like I can when I have my eyes closed.
That’s what I was going for. But I guess it doesn’t work as well in this medium. So now your eyes are closed and you aren’t paying attention to a single word I’ve written.
Well then maybe it’s time for me to get some things off my chest, dear reader. Maybe it’s time tell you what I really think. You’re a lazy slob who has nothing better to do with your life than read my half-assed columns in the East Cannapaqua Gazette.
Oh wait. You opened your eyes. Shoot. Maybe just close them again and think about the lamas.
